She Always Takes it Black
by prayforsnow
Summary: Holly doesn't even like punk music or dive bars. But the singer of a certain punk band has her captivated from the first time Holly laid eyes on her. It's probably just the stage and the leather that makes the blonde look so hot. Right?
1. Chapter 1

The first time Holly catches sight of her, it's from across a crowded bar. She feels a bit disappointed when she gets jostled by a drunk and loses sight of the blonde. Then crowd in the bar turns rowdier as the room's lights go dim and the stage lights start shining.

She only looks over at the stage because the hooting and the hollering has started. But from the moment the blonde steps on stage Holly is transfixed. Maybe it's the leather jacket or the motorcycle boots. No, it has to be the way she authoritatively stomps all over the stage or the way her hair swings over her shoulder as she sarcastically banters with the crowd.

"And I thought you didn't even like this band?" Her date nudges her in the ribs and grins up at her, "It was like pulling teeth to get you to come and it turns out that they're so captivating that you can't take your eyes of them."

Holly jumps at the sound of her date's voice in her ear, "Alex! You said you were running late?"

"I thought I was going to be late but the trial got pushed back a week so now I've got more time to prepare. And more time for you."

Holly smiles. It is true that between her residency and Alex's crazy corporate lawyer hours they don't get to see each other much. It would be nice to actually get to know the girl she is dating, even if she did insist on bringing Holly to see punk bands in dive bars.

"So what's the name of this group again?" Holly's eyes wanders back to the blonde who was now leaning forward holding the mic stand like a lover with her lips barely grazing the metal of the mic. A mic and mic stand that Holly wanted to be...wait. what?

"-isn't that a great origin story?"

"I'm sorry, I totally spaced. What are they called?"

Holly shakes her head vigorously as though it will cure her of this weird attraction to a blonde she doesn't even know, singing in a band whose music she doesn't really like.

"Liquid Autumn Obsidian," Alex looks carefully at Holly, "Are you tired? You can go home if you want? They're a local band so they play around here pretty regularly and I can see them another time."

"No, no. I'm completely fine, all I did today was file a lot of tedious paperwork about protocols and medical jurisprudence," Holly reassures Alex.

"If you say so. Hey look, their set is over, let's go over there, I've always wanted to meet the band."

Before she knows it, Holly is being dragged through the crowd towards the band and the hottest blonde she'd ever seen. While Alex excitedly chats up the drummer and the bassist, Holly hangs back.

Holly jumps when she hears a voice, hoarse from screaming, utter, "Your girlfriend seems super excited and a little too bubbly for someone who likes punk bands. And you seem a little too sterile to really be into the punk scene. So what brings you here?"

"She's not my girlfriend. We're just dating. And sterile?"

"Who comes to a dive bar to watch a punk band in scrubs?"

"Alex loves your music. She talks about going to your shows every time you guys play anywhere. I'm just here because -"

"You couldn't take your eyes off me?"

When the blonde sees Holly's panicked look she has to chuckle a bit, "Don't worry. I won't tell as long as you let me buy you a drink. I'm Gail by the way."

"Holly."

"Drink of choice?"

Holly hesitates. While it feels tacky to accept a drink from another woman with her date right there, it doesn't seem like Gail will try anything. But before she can continue debating with herself, Gail smirks at her, "Chill. I'm not asking you to marry me. Your girlfriend is right there. Consider it an apology drink for having to sit through our music when it's not really your style."

"Rum and coke."

Gail gestures at a nearby table before disappearing to the bar. Holly sighs deeply as she sit down. She can't help but feel a little bit guilty that she is ignoring her date to talk to a girl she has just met (granted that this is only her second date with Alex). Although, as she looks over towards the boys talking to Alex, her date seems just fine without her.

"So why the scrubs?" Holly turns back to Gail who slides a rum and coke across the table at her.

"I'm a resident. I study forensic pathology. You know post mortem electrolyte patterns, lividity, wernicke encephalopathy, -"

"Why are you saying all these words?"

Holly just grins at her reddening slightly. She's so caught up with staring at Gail's face that it doesn't register that her date has come over to talk to her.

"Hey Holly. So the boys just invited us out to a club. Do you want to go?" Alex is nearly bouncing up and down with excitement.

"I'm actually feeling kind of tired. I think I'm going to finish my drink here and then go home and rest up for work tomorrow. But you should go and have some fun!"

"Are you sure? I can-"

"No. Go. I'll text you tomorrow okay?"

"That sounds great."

Alex manages a kiss on Holly's cheek before she's pulled away into the crowd by the two boys. Holly is surprised to see that Gail is still sitting across from her.

"You aren't going clubbing with them?"

"I can't leave you alone. With all that nerd-talk you're likely to get yourself pummeled by a punk."

Holly just tilts her head to the side, assessing Gail who stares back with a practiced hard stare before breaking, "I have a day job that requires me to wake up early tomorrow. You didn't want to go clubbing with your girlfriend?"

"She's not my girlfriend, this is our second date. And I don't really like clubs."

Gail studies her, "Are you done with your drink? I can take you home."

"You really don't have to. I can totally catch a cab-"

"Come on. I'll pull around the front."

Holly sits at the table alone for a beat longer, before downing her drink and heading towards the exit. As she fights through the sweaty bodies she shakes her head at herself. She really can't believe that she's about to take a ride with a complete stranger. Completely hot stranger. But a stranger nonetheless.

When she gets outside, the chilly wind helps kill some of the arousal she still feels from seeing Gail suggestively holding that mic stand. She's feeling better about accepting a ride with the hot blonde right up until the roar of a motorcycle engine catches her attention.

Seeing Gail astride a motorcycle just gets her hot and bothered again. She almost feels lightheaded, as though all the blood in her body has pooled in the lower half of her torso (even though she knows that medically speaking that's not exactly what's happening). Still, Holly just stands at the curb dumbly for another thirty seconds before Gail is thrusting a helmet in her face and breaking her out of her reverie.

"Wait. I can't go on one of those things. Motorcyclists have a 35 times greater chance of being in a fatal crash than car drivers. 72.34 motorcyclists per 100,000 motorcyclists ended up in fatal crashes to car driver's 13.10 per 100,00. That-"

"Stop thinking nerd. And just let me drive you home. I promise to ride responsibly and get you there in one piece."

Holly takes a deep breath and grabs the proffered helmet. She's always getting roped into doing dumb things for super hot girls. As they ride along with Holly directing Gail, Holly can't help but think that getting on the motorcycle was totally worth it. She does have her arms wrapped around Gail after all.

She's so caught up in enjoying her ride (and her company) that Holly doesn't notice that they're parked outside her apartment until Gail takes her helmet off and turns to see why Holly isn't getting off.

"Th-thanks for the ride."

"Anytime nerd," Gail revs the engine and as she prepares to ride away shouts, "I'll see you around!"

Holly is left just staring at fading taillights. The butterflies in her stomach going crazy when she realizes that she's still holding Gail's extra motorcycle helmet.

* * *

><p>The second time Holly sees Gail it's outside a cafe and Holly barely recognizes her. Instead of wearing leather everything, Gail is wearing a suit. As Holly debates with herself about whether or not to go over and say hi, Gail turns around and does a double take when she catches sight of Holly.<p>

As Gail saunters over in all her pencil skirt wearing glory, Holly shakily puts her coffee down just in case her normally steady hands decide to betray her just because a hot girl is now sitting down at her table.

"You still have my helmet."

"Yeah. I was going to give it back but then I realized that I didn't know your last name or your phone number or where you worked or -"

"It's okay. Here give me your phone."

Holly fumbles with her pockets trying to get her phone out for a good half minute and hands it over to Gail.

"There. No excuses now."

And just as quickly as Gail slid into the seat across from her, Gail slides out and starts walking down the street.

"I'll text you," Holly shouts after her (and nearly kicks herself for her utter lack of 'cool').

Gail turns her head just enough to catch Holly's eye and give her a half smile. Holly feels her knees go a little weak and thanks the fates that she's sitting rather than standing.

* * *

><p>The third time Holly sees Gail, she's so sick that she can barely get of bed to answer the door when Gail shows up with chicken noodle soup.<p>

"Gail. I'm sick. Like coughing and feverish and contagious. Sick."

"I know what sick is, that's why I brought you soup and crackers instead of alcohol and cheese puffs."

Holly stands aside to let her in. Mostly because Gail looks kind of hopeful and Holly could really use some soup and crackers. But also because she's only hung out with Gail twice before and Gail seems to care whereas the girl Holly's supposedly dating didn't even end their conversation with a 'get well soon' when Holly called to cancel their plans.

"So what are you watching?" Gail asks as she slips off her boots and her coat.

"Cosmos."

"Really? Leave it to you to want to learn new information and expand your mind even while you're sick."

"It's entertaining. I like it." Holly tries to defend her choice in TV shows.

Gail just shrugs and makes herself comfortable on the couch. As they watch, Gail seems to be engrossed in the show while Holly finds herself stealing looks at Gail between spoonfuls of soup. After the tenth no-so-subtle glance, Gail catches Holly's eye and just raises an eyebrow.

"Sorry. I just- I...well you didn't have to come all this way to hang out with me I'm gross and sick. Alex didn't even want to see me. So thank you for the company and the soup."

"Sucky girlfriend. And I'm just here for the use of your netflix account."

Holly smiles and just relaxes into the couch.

When Holly wakes up it's dark outside and she's sprawled out on the couch under blankets but alone. There's a note taped to her glasses:

_I thought nerds were the ones that could stay awake and take notes during informational things. _

_Anyway, you looked like you needed the sleep and I have a gig to go to. _

_Feel better._

* * *

><p><em>- The best person you've ever met<em>

_P.S. Next time I get to choose what we watch._

Holly can't help the butterflies in her stomach that awaken as she reads the words 'next time'. Next time. There would be a next time with Gail.

* * *

><p>The fourth time Holly sees Gail it's because she accidentally ended up alone at the dive bar that Gail's band happened to be playing at. She actually had come with Alex but then after an argument about how little they see each other and how much they both work, she'd ended up single and alone at the dive bar.<p>

This time Holly doesn't wait around staring at Gail. As soon as she spots the blonde hair across the bar, she marches through the crowd. Holly gets to the band just as they're about to head onto stage.

Gail grins at her and starts to say something but Holly just grabs her by the shoulders and presses her lips to Gail's. When Holly pulls back she tries not to freak out. She tries not to think about how she probably totally ruined her chances now.

Gail just looks at Holly with confusion on her face until her bandmates call out to her. She shoots Holly an apologetic face and heads to the stage.

Holly just hopes with all her heart that she didn't mess up.

* * *

><p>AN: My first fic in a while. I apologize for any mistakes or OOC-ness.


	2. Chapter 2

Holly wants to hit her head on her desk repeatedly. Her therapist may have told her that she should try being more impulsive but surely she didn't mean doing that. She didn't mean messing up a budding friendship and alienating one of three friends Holly has in the city. This is why Holly is usually a planner. Because so long as she plans for all the possible outcomes and has written a thorough pro-con chart, she can map her next move and make sure she didn't do something stupid. So so stupid. Like kissing Gail.

For all Holly knows, Gail is a totally straight (badass and beautiful) but totally straight friend. And now she's probably screwed that up. Even though most of the time it seems like Gail easily flirts back with her and stares at her...a lot. Still none of that means that Gail would be okay with Holly planting one on her.

At least, Holly thinks, she'd been able to escape because work called her in shortly after Gail had begun stomping her way across the stage (and into Holly's heart). Holly knows she can handle this. She will just give Gail space to figure it out. And hopefully, when this is all over, Holly will still have a friend in Gail.

Her cellphone starts buzzing as she makes her way outside her lab and into a taxi.

"Hey Lisa."

"You texted me at 4 in the morning." Lisa grumbles into the phone, clearly not matching Holly's relatively chipper tone.

"I kissed Gail."

"Well it's about fucking time."

"What?"

"You've been talking about her non-stop since she nursed you back to health. It was about damn time."

Holly runs her hand through her hair, still stressed by her impulsivity, "I think I messed it up. Actually, I know I messed it up. She's straight and probably has a loving boyfriend. And now I'm just the creepy lesbian who planted one on her."

"Did she kiss back?"

"I think so?"

"She's into you too Hols. She freaking brought you soup when you were sick even though you two had been texting for a couple weeks but had only met twice in person. No one willingly takes care of a sick person unless they're paid either with money or with sex. And listen even if she does turn out-"

Holly begins to tune Lisa out because when she steps out of the cab in front of her apartment she sees a familiar motorcycle parked out front. And as she walks closer to her front door she can make out Gail's silhouette.

"Lisa. I'm going to have to call you back."

As soon as Gail notices Holly walking towards her, she straightens up and readjusts her jacket.

"Hey."

"Hi."

Holly and Gail just stand on the sidewalk staring at each other. Holly studies her hair, the curve of her cheekbone, and then looks straight into Gail's eyes, as if she could memorize their color. She wants to make sure that if this is the last time she sees Gail, that if Gail has come to dump her as a friend, that she'll be able to remember her. Not that Holly could ever forget.

"I'm not one of your books you know. You don't have to study me. There's not going to be a test."

"Sorry. I just- I'm sorry I kissed you. I mean- I like you. I like you a lot. Maybe too much. But I shouldn't have kissed you in public...with all those people around. I mean I don't even know how you feel about. Not the kissing me part but more the kissing-"

Sometime during all of Holly's hand waving, Gail steps impossibly close to Holly. She holds the lapels of Holly's jacket in her hands. Suddenly she pulls forcefully jerking Holly's face towards her.

Holly is stunned. So stunned in fact that she can't seem to move at all during this kiss. It's only when Gail begins to move away that Holly wakes up. She grips Gail by her belt loops and pulls their hips together. Then Holly kisses her back. And this may only be their third kiss, but Holly has faith that it won't be their last, not by a long shot. Holly wants to do this forever. To just let her hands run up and down Gail's sides as they make out like teenagers in front of Holly's apartment.

Holly feels this warmth just filling her insides up. A happy feeling that she hasn't felt in a very long time. Her stupid stomach butterflies are going crazy too. And she feels this way right up until she notices that Gail is picking up her motorcycle helmet and moving towards her bike.

"Wait. Where are you going?"

"Home. I have work and a date I need to plan for."

Holly's stomach drops at the mention of the date, "A date?"

"Yeah. If you're free tonight?"

* * *

><p>Holly is not a nervous person. She isn't the kind of person who pukes before tests or who stutters through job interviews. She is a freaking superstar so there is never any reason for her to be nervous. Even on first dates Holly doesn't usually freak out.<p>

But now, Holly is freaking out because she is freaking out about her first date. Her sister, Valerie, is trying valiantly to coach her through outfit picking on skype.

"How about this?" Holly asks as she pulls out one of her favorite flannels.

Valarie just laughs, "Are you trying to play up the stereotype? She already knows you're gay."

Holly just glares at her sister's pixelated face as she pulls a floral shirt out of her closet, "Is this better?"

"Look I don't understand why you're freaking out so much Hols. The girl clearly likes you."

"That's the thing. I want her to keep liking me," Holly turns her back on the computer screen to focus on the various clothing she has hung up in her closet.

Valerie chuckles at her, "You know you're adorable when you care."

"Shut up and just tell me if this dress will work."

"Do you even wear dresses?" Valerie frowns not even looking up from the book she's reading.

Holly sighs at her sister's definition of help, "Yes. I mean. No. Not unless it's a wedding or something."

"Do you know what she has planned for you tonight?"

"No."

If Holly is being completely honest, not knowing kind of freaks her out (because everything is freaking her out today). She doesn't really know what kind of person Gail is besides the fact that Gail sings and screams in a band that plays in dive bars.

"Then wear something that can be casual but also dressy. I gotta go to class."

Holly throws her hands up in exasperation, "Casual and dressy? Really?"

"You'll be fine. Just stop freaking out. I've never seen you this worked up. Call me afterwards with the details!"

With that Valerie hangs up on her leaving Holly standing in her closet with various outfits draped over her body.

When Gail pulls up on her motorcycle 45 minutes later (and exactly on time), Holly considers it a miracle that she has a matching outfit on her body. They ride to a nearby burger joint which makes Holly relax a bit inside. Maybe the causal setting will help her nerves.

* * *

><p>The relaxed setting doesn't help with her nerves. Holly trips and accidentally gets to second base with the waitress even before they've sat down. The waitress is nice and understanding and Gail looks caught between amusement and genuine concern.<p>

"So what's good here? I mean have you been here before?"

Gail's eyes peek over her own menu, "I'm a personal fan of the Boozy Burger. It's got a delicious whiskey sauce that it comes with."

Holly nods and sips on her water. At the exact moment Holly chooses to attempt to swallow her water Gail has put down her menu and runs her fingers through her hair. Holly involuntary inhales and suddenly she's spitting water all over the menus and front of Gail.

"I am so so sorry." Holly tries as best as possible, with her one paper napkin, to wipe up Gail and the menus.

Gail gently puts her hand on Holly's to stop Holly's nervous wiping of everything, "It's okay. Wrong pipe?"

"Yeah. I'm pretty good at inhaling things I shouldn't."

As soon as Holly's said it she realizes that it sounds like she snorts cocaine or smokes heroin on the regular. She's internally panicking about what she can possibly say to convince Gail that she's not some drugged up floozy when the waitress she groped comes back to take their order.

Gail being the nice person she is gestures to Holly to order first.

"I'll take the boobies burger." Holly, Gail, and the waitress all pause as soon as the words leave Holly's mouth, "Sorry, I mean the Boozy Burger. Cooked medium please."

The waitress slowly nods and Holly is bright red with mortification. Now Gail probably thinks she's some kind of drugged up nymphomaniac. Holly is so caught up with embarrassment that she misses Gail's attempt at a conversation starter.

"I'm sorry. Can you say that again?"

"What do you like to do on the weekends?" Gail is kind of smiling though it's mostly one of those super polite smiles.

"I sleep a lot." Holly curses herself internally. She's got answers up the wazoo for this question usually. Because she's interested in stuff. She has passions. But with Gail sitting across the table from her she can't seem to form any kind of actual response.

Holly excuses herself to the bathroom because she needs to splash water on her face and calm herself down. Of course Holly chooses to stand up at exactly the moment that the waitress comes walking by with a pitch of water.

The waitress ends up with a very see through shirt that Holly of course attempts to help her dry off. Holly ends up palming the waitress's boob for the second time that night and practically runs to the bathroom.

Holly pulls out her phone and tries calling Lisa and Valerie but neither pick up their phone. So Holly leans over the sink and stares at her face in the mirror.

"You can do this Holly Stewart. You can go on a successful date with a girl you really like."

The rest of dinner is thankfully uneventful. Holly is able to not touch the waitress's boobs again and she and Gail actually manage to have a conversation about breakfast foods. As Gail leads her out of the restaurant Holly leaves an extra twenty on the table for the waitress.

* * *

><p>Outside the restaurant as they walk to Gail's bike, Holly tries to smoothly grab for Gail's hand except that she completely misjudges how fast Gail is walking and how her hands are swinging so Holly ends up grabbing Gail's ass. Gail just stops walking and eyes Holly up and down with a frown on her face.<p>

"What's wrong with you tonight? Are you on drugs or something?" Gail takes a step back as she continues to study Holly.

Holly starts laughing until she realizes that Gail is not laughing along with her, "No. God no. I don't- I'm not on drugs."

Gail just stands there with her hands in her pockets waiting for an explanation. Holly swallows hard. How did she mess up a date this badly? She's usually smooth with women. She prides herself on being able to be both a nerd and a good date. But tonight she has been anything but smooth.

"I'm just nervous. I don't know why. I don't usually get this way. You just- you make me nervous."

"Well don't be," Gail starts walking again, "If anything I should be nervous. This is my first date with you too. Not to mention my first date with a woman."

"Wait what?" Holly's still stuck standing stock still on the sidewalk.

Gail turns around, "I mean I'd never even kissed a girl until you kissed me."

"So you're a straight girl on a date with a lesbian. Isn't that kind of leading me along in the worst way."

Holly shakes her head at Gail. She can't believe that this girl that she thought was wonderful and perfect and attractive in every way could be malicious.

"Woah. I'm not leading you along. And I mean I'm probably not straight either. If you remember I kissed you too."

"Is this some kind of pity thing? Go on the date with the sad lesbian because she kissed you and you feel sorry for her?" Holly spits the words at her with all the venom she wished she had when she was a 20 year old experiment for girl after girl.

Gail's eyes are soft and her voice is quiet and soothing, "I'm on a date with you because I genuinely like you."

Holly snorts in disbelief, "You like me."

"I like you. In a way that I've never liked anyone else."

Holly just stares at Gail until she is forced to elaborate more, "Look. Have I dated guys in the past? Yes. But they never made my heart beat fast by just looking at me. They never made my stomach feel like it was in free fall with just the memory of a freaking awesome kiss. They never made any sense. But you do all of that."

"I can't do this again. I'm not an experiment." Holly runs a hand through her hair, "It was really nice getting to know you Gail."

Holly turns and walks away. She can hear Gail saying stuff and shouting at her back but she doesn't stop walking until she can't hear Gail anymore. Her eyes feel watery and she almost has to laugh at her own craziness. She's crying over a woman she went on one date with. A straight woman that she went on one date with.

* * *

><p>AN: Sorry this chapter took me so long. I haven't had time to just sit and write for a while. Lemme know what you think about Holly being a bumbling fool (and then a heterophobic fool). I'm also working on replying to all of your lovely reviews. Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

The moment Holly wakes up the next morning she regrets everything. She really regrets the way she kind of, probably, really overreacted to Gail's confession that it was her first time dating girl.

Holly thinks back to the way she felt when she first realized that she was into girls and curses herself. She essentially belittled the way Gail was feeling to protect her own fucking heart. Holly grabs her pillow and just groans into it.

There is no way in hell that Gail will ever agree to talk to her again. Still, Holly spends most of the morning spouting every iteration of "I'm Sorry" into Gail's voicemail. Then Holly makes a call to Lisa because if there's one thing Lisa can do well it's talk to women.

"Lisa. I fucked it up."

"With who?" Lisa sounds legitimately confused and distracted.

Holly frowns, "I was only dating one girl. Gail."

"Oh right. You do that thing where you date one person at a time. So what happened with the singer?"

Lisa almost spits out the words 'the singer' as though the words themselves are poison. But Holly ignores the judgement in her voice because she needs her best friend to come through with sage advice of some kind. If only so that Holly can distract herself by planning how to make up with Gail.

"I'm the first girl she's ever dated. Or the first girl she had ever dated since I'm pretty sure after the stuff I said we're not still dating."

Over the phone Holly can hear the muffled sounds of running and yelling.

"I gotta go now Hols. Duty calls. But give her some space to cool off then apologize profusely. And hey, if she doesn't ever want to date you again, I know a senior partner at a consulting firm that would love to date you."

"You're so not helpful Lisa." Holly shouts at the sound of Lisa hanging up on her.

* * *

><p>Holly still hasn't heard anything from Gail a week later when she decides to bring Lisa lunch at the hospital. Lisa's been working a rotation in the burn ward that's left her too busy to spend her nights drinking and offering Holly advice on the whole Gail situation. So Holly ends up sitting at the nurses' station in the burn unit eating lunch to the smell of charred human flesh and the sounds of patients in pain.<p>

"Your girl call you back yet?" Lisa mumbles through a mouthful of sandwich.

Holly sighs and stares at Lisa judgmentally until Lisa starts chewing with her mouth closed.

"She's not my girl and she hasn't called me back yet."

Lisa goes to take a bite of her sandwich but after seeing the look that Holly has her face, she decides to talk before there's food in her mouth, "I don't know why you're trying so hard. There are plenty of other girls around and girls that have real professions that don't involve screaming in dingy bars."

"Can you stop being such a judgmental bitch about what she does?" Holly snaps.

She's spent years listening to Lisa's criticisms on other's choice in college major and subsequently their choices in career and jobs. Holly herself has been on the receiving end of many such judgmental lectures and over the years she's gotten quite good at letting it all wash over her. However, it always bothered Holly the extent to which Lisa would vocally judge the girls Holly dated.

Lisa raises her eyebrows and snorts, "You're telling me not to be judgmental? Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black in light of recent events?"

"Shut up."

"Look. She clearly doesn't want to talk to you-" Lisa's thought is interrupted by her pager going off, "Shit. The flight paramedics are bringing down a chemical plant explosion victim."

The next thing that Holly sees is unbelievable. When the gurney comes around the corner she sees Gail straddling the patient performing chest compressions as the gurney is rushed into a patient room. As Lisa stands to leave, Holly grabs her wrist,

"That's Gail. The girl performing the chest compressions."

Lisa doesn't have a chance to reply before she's called into the room. A nurse takes over chest compressions for Gail and after getting off the gurney Gail quickly pulls off her gloves. Her blonde hair is perfectly messy if there is such a thing (Holly feels like such a Hollywood cliche even thinking that, but there's really no other way to describe it).

When Gail's eyes lock onto Holly's they narrow with recognition and Gail snaps her head back down. Gail finds the furthest part of the nurses station to fill out her paperwork and Holly can't help herself but to walk over to Gail and at least try.

"Gail. Hey. I've been calling you for the last week." Holly waves weakly before shoving her hands in her coat pockets.

Gail doesn't look up from the chart she's filling out, "I know."

"I was just calling to tell you that I'm so sorry. I completely overreacted last week and I-" Holly stammers, tilting her head and trying to catch Gail's eyes.

Gail cuts her off as she vigorously flips through the pages of the chart, "I'm working right now."

"I know and-"

"I'm busy saving lives and I really don't want to be standing so close to you. Who knows how contagious your judgemental disease is?"

With that Gail snaps her folder shut and hands the nurse some papers before walking back up to the helipad without a second look back.

Holly jumps when she feels a hand on her shoulder but turns around to find that it's only Lisa.

"So I'm guessing that didn't go well."

"No Lisa. No it didn't." Holly snaps at her friend before taking a deep breath to calm down, "Sorry. It's that she didn't even hear me out."

"Well. You were a judgmental bitch." Lisa says with a teasing smirk.

Holly rolls her eyes.

Lisa continues, "Besides, if I had known that it was Gail Peck that you were dating I would have pushed you to chase after her."

"I thought I could do better than 'just a singer'."

Lisa laughs as she drapes her stethoscope around her neck, "Well, as we've both learned today she's not 'just a singer' is she? That girl is a badass. So date her. Have some fun. Do something other than work Hols."

* * *

><p>Holly hangs out at the bar Gail's band plays at every night for the week after that. And after ten days, just when she's about to give up, Gail walks in with her band mates. Holly watches them sit down and watches Gail avoid looking anywhere in her vicinity.<p>

But despite Gail's valiant attempts to avoid her, Gail and one of her friends ends up next to Holly while trying to order drinks. Holly tries to mind her own business and is debating on whether or not to tap Gail on the shoulder and try to make her listen when she overhears their conversation.

"So how's that girl?" Gail's friend asks as he tries to flag down the bartender.

Holly's spirits plummet. Of course Gail was dating another girl. It wasn't like she was still dating Holly and even so it wasn't like she and Holly had been official or exclusive or anything at all really. That's probably why Gail didn't want her apologies. She was already moving on to less judgmental people.

Gail shifts her eyes so that she can see Holly's reaction out of the corner of her eye, "Which one Dov?"

Holly just wants to melt into the bar or the background or really be anywhere besides hearing this conversation. Still, she can't bring herself to move and she just grimaces as she takes a big gulp of her vodka tonic.

"The one from two days ago. You know...super intense, you were all up on her."

"Oh yeah. Chainsaw through the abdomen girl. She'll be fine. We got to her in time to keep her from bleeding out and they got her into surgery right away."

"That's good."

Holly breathes out a sigh of relief. They're talking about their work cases.

The bartender finally hands Dov the right number of glasses for their table.

"I'll meet you back at the table."

And then Gail is left at the bar waiting for a pitcher of beer and standing right next to Holly.

Holly starts quietly with a gentle hand on Gail's shoulder, "I'm really sorry that I said all that stuff. But you have to let me explain."

"Are you stalking me or something?" Gail snaps, her eyes still trained on the bartender who is fumbling with the lever.

Holly takes a deep breath, "Listen Gail, I really like you. And I've been the first girlfriend for a couple of girls. Sometimes it took them a week, sometimes a month, sometimes a couple of years, but every single one of them broke my heart by telling me that they weren't actually gay. That I was just an experiment or a phase or a way to rebel."

"They sound like bitches." Gail finally turns her head slightly and Holly can finally catch her eyes.

Holly nods, "They were. And I'm done with that part of my life. I'm 29. I know that I might get my heart broken again in the future, but not like that. I know what I want in a girlfriend, in my work, in life."

"I'm here with my friends. But we can talk later if you want."

"Thank you Gail."

Gail nods curtly with her eyes are back on the bartender and as soon as the pitcher is on the counter she throws down a twenty and walks off to her friends.

* * *

><p>Holly doesn't hear from Gail for another two days. She's texted and called Gail multiple times. Holly's never been this clingy a girl before and she is half way to giving up on ever hearing from Gail again when her phone rings.<p>

"Hey."

"You didn't answer any of my calls." Holly cringes at her tone and immediately wants to take it back.

"I was working a 24 hour shift and then sleeping."

"Right. Sorry."

"You can stop apologizing you know."

"Sorry. Ugh. Sorry. Wait. Sorry."

Holly hears Gail trying to stifle her laughter on the other side of the phone.

"Alright nerd. Coffee?"

* * *

><p>When Holly gets to the coffee shop, Gail is already there, in uniform with a stethoscope hanging haphazardly around her neck. Gail is slouched down in her chair and sipping her coffee while glaring at all the other patrons in the shop.<p>

"You're late," Gail snarks, her eyes narrowing.

Holly grins, "I'll make it up to you with a muffin."

Gail fakes a thoughtful look and taps her chin for good measure, "I guess that'll help you curry some favor with me."

Holly drapes her coat over the extra chair and sets her book down on the table before heading to the counter to order her coffee and Gail's muffin.

When Holly sits back down at the table, Gail has unbuttoned her uniform shirt to reveal a barely see through wife-beater. Holly can't help but let her drop down to the blue bra that's visible underneath Gail's tank top. She glances back at Gail's face just in time to catch Gail's knowing smirk.

"So," Holly starts.

Gail nods and just keeps staring at Holly, waiting for her to continue speaking.

Holly takes a deep breath before continuing, "I'm sorry. I was judgy and you didn't deserve all the things I said. Apparently, I still have a lot of baggage where experimenting girls are concerned."

"I'm not experimenting."

Gail's defenses are up; Holly can see that. Gail is refusing to make eye contact and her arms are crossed petulantly across her chest as she leans back in her chair. She's almost like a guard dog, hackles raised, teeth bared and the thought of Gail as a guard dog almost makes Holly want to laugh which would probably be the worst thing she could do right now.

Holly looks down at her coffee and carefully asks, "But you've never been with a girl before?"

"Before my ex I'd never dated a firefighter before. There's a first for everything."

Holly raises her eyebrows, "You make it sound so simple."

"I like you. You like me. Isn't it that simple?" Gail shrugs nonchalantly, still avoiding eye contact.

"Yeah. I guess it is."

There's a long pause as Holly sips her coffee and Gail picks at the remnants of her muffin. Gail finally lifts her eyes to meet Holly's. Holly swallows hard. She's about to talk when Gail's pager goes off.

"There's a huge fire on Spadina and Dundas they need all hands on deck, I have to go." Gail loops her stethoscope around her neck with one hand and clips her pager to her belt with the other, "Call me if you ever figure it out."

Holly figures it out two seconds after Gail leaves and fumbles for her phone.

"Hello?" Gail breathes heavily into the phone.

"Are you running?"

"Holly?"

"I'm free on Friday for dinner. Are you free on Friday for dinner?"

"Sure." Gail says, still panting into the receiver.

Suddenly the sirens that Holly could hear in the background get a lot louder.

"I'll see you on Friday Holly. Maybe this time you and I could get to second base instead of you and some floozy waitress."

Holly waits until she hears the telltale click before she hangs up her end. She leans back in her chair and takes a deep breath. Maybe this time she'll get Lisa to get her some Xanax for this date.

* * *

><p>AN: Thanks for reading guys!


	4. Chapter 4

Lisa had forced Holly to down two cups of red wine before Gail arrived to pick her up and as Holly sat in the restaurant she was thankful for that. Her slight buzz kept her from being too nervous and she was actually able to make conversation instead of letting an unsettling silence blanket the table.

"You're not going to grope the waitress this time are you?"

Gail's serious stare almost made Holly trip over herself apologizing until Holly saw the way the corner of Gail's mouth were fighting to stay in a frown. So Holly attempted to play serious too.

"No. I'm not going to grope the waitress this time. I usually don't get so handsy on first dates."

Gail started laughing, "What. Not going to spit water all over me this time and order a 'boobies burger'?"

"I was nervous!" Holly protested, trying to hide her redding face behind the menu.

Gail raised an eyebrow and pushed down the menu Holly was attempting to use as a wall, "so was I. But I wasn't groping other girls on our date."

"You're never going to let me live this down are you," Holly tried her best to put on what she thought was an adorable puppy dog face, but only succeeded in making Gail laugh.

"Nope." Gail's triumphant smirk made Holly grin down at her menu.

When the waiter came around, Holly was actually capable of ordering her food (a pasta dish) without completely flubbing her words. Her newfound skill with words gives her the confidence to actually start talking to Gail and make conversation.

Holly waits until the waiter is out of earshot before asking the question that had been bothering her since she'd found out that Gail had only ever dated guys before, "Why'd you ask me out on a date if you had never dated girls?"

Gail shrugged and nervously averted her eyes, "Because you seemed cool. And it's something I've been thinking about for a while."

"Dating girls?" Holly grabbed one of Gail's hands to get Gail to look at her again.

Gail took a deep breath before quickly mumbling, "That I might be gay."

"Was it because of a bad break up?" Holly couldn't help herself but ask because Lisa had only been sure after a bad break up and some of her other acquaintances had figured it out after a long line of dating the 'wrong kind of guys'.

"Holly, I'm a novice skier. I'm too afraid to take the plunge and confidently go down the mountain so I just keep making myself fall every couple of feet so that I can never pick up speed. No one I've been with has ever cared enough to pick me up and help me down the mountain and no one I've ever been with has ever made me want to get down the mountain. I'm perfectly happy staying on the mountain and getting up every so often only to find a way to fall down and stall my progress again."

"You're a novice skier?" Holly narrowed her eyes as she tried to figure out Gail's line of thought.

Gail looked down at their joined hands, "It's either that or I'm a pussy. Although now that I think about it you would appreciate the pussy one more. Do you want to hear my pussy metaphor?"

Gail grinned at Holly's shocked face and with an exaggerated eye roll clarified, "Pussy as in cat. God Holly, get your mind out of the gutter."

"Why couldn't you just have said cat?" Holly sputtered somewhat indignant that Gail had somehow gotten her so worked up that she completely lost any semblance of game she had.

Gail fights off a smile, "Because your face wouldn't be as funny as it is right now. And you wouldn't have coke dripping down your chin."

Holly hurriedly wipes the coke from her chin and narrows her eyes in a faux glare at Gail. Gail only smirks at her as she sips her coke (much more elegantly than Holly).

* * *

><p>Gail's snark and bite had Holly laughing through most of dinner. Both Gail's stories and Gail's commentary on Holly's stories were judgemental but hilariously so. And Holly couldn't deny that Gail was right on point with her judgements of some of Holly's co-workers.<p>

The dinner part of the date had actually gone really well. Holly felt comfortable with Gail and it seemed like Gail felt the same way because Gail had grabbed her hand and intertwined their fingers as they had left the restaurant.

As they stood outside waiting for a cab, Holly saw Gail's eyes briefly drop to her lips and moved her hands to wrap around Gail's waist. Holly could see Gail's face coming closer to hers as she closed her eyes. But instead of Gail's lips on hers she felt Gail's entire body stiffen and she gave Holly a fleeting hug before taking a huge step backwards.

"Mom." Gail's eyes were trained on a woman behind Holly. Holly whipped around quickly and took another step away from Gail so that whatever closeness Gail's mom saw or didn't see could be written off as friendship.

An impeccably dressed woman walked over, her heels clicking formidably with every purposeful step. "Gail."

"What are you doing here mom?" Gail seemed to have lost all her bluster, as though the woman in the suit, her mother, had deflated all of Gail's fight and personality with one withering look. Holly could see the defense in Gail's eyes and the 'ready to fight' stance Gail had adopted.

Gail's mom sighed as she took in Gail's entire demeanor, "I'm picking up dinner for your father and myself. Honestly, Gail. I'm not having you followed contrary to your beliefs."

"Of course, Mother." Gail's voice was tense and from the look in her mother's eyes Holly could see that Gail's mom seemed to be disappointed that her daughter didn't trust her word.

"Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?" Gail's mom turned to Holly without waiting for Gail to reply and stuck out her hand, "Elaine Peck."

Holly startled and quickly recovered and shook Elaine's hand, "Holly Stewart, ma'am."

"That name sounds familiar to me. Why?" Elaine's gaze was piercing in a different way than Gail's. While Gail's was meant to keep people out, Elaine's was meant to get under people's skin. Holly almost felt like she was a book being read as Elaine's eyes swept over her.

Holly tried to imperceptibly stand up straight as she made direct eye contact with Elaine, "Uhm I'm the new resident in forensic pathology for the Toronto Police."

Elaine nodded in recognition, "Oh yes. The one with a phD and an MD. You're an impressive person Dr. Stewart. You've done some amazing things. Perhaps your presence will inspire Gail to get a real degree and do some spectacular things."

Holly's eyes shifted towards Gail but it seemed like she'd already checked out of the conversation. Holly could understand the defenses up strategy.

"Personally I think she does great things already. She saves lives every day. Last week she stopped a woman from bleeding out by lying down on her until the doctors could get the woman into surgery. Some people would say that's heroic, spectacular even."

Holly's speech made Gail turn towards her and finally appeared to break down the stoic facade that had been in place since Gail had caught sight of her mom. Gail shot her a small but appreciative smile before returning her face to it's impassive state.

"Why is it that I must always learn about your achievements from others Gail?"

Without waiting for an answer Elaine checked her watch and her phone before sending Holly a fake smile, "I should get going. I prefer my dinner hot. It was nice to meet you Dr. Stewart. I'll see you at family dinner on Monday Gail."

As soon as Gail's mom left, Holly saw the tension leave Gail's body.

"So where were we?" Holly tried to grab Gail by the belt loops but Gail stepped out of her reach.

"I'm actually feeling pretty tired. So I think I'm going to go home and get some sleep." Gail's eyes bounced around from object to object; she was trying her best to look anywhere except for Holly.

Abruptly, Gail turned around and left with a weak wave and Holly was left on the sidewalk wondering what the hell happened to her lovely night and her successful date.

* * *

><p>Holly was awoken by the sound of her phone ringing. Groggily she reached over to her nightstand and fumbled around for her phone. Instead she only succeeded in pushing her phone off the nightstand. With a groan she rolled her way off the bed and finally got to her phone.<p>

"So I kind of freaked out last night."

Holly exhaled, "Yeah. You kind of did. Do you want to talk about it?"

"I'm at your front door."

Holly staggered out of her bedroom and tried to straighten out her hair and pajamas as she walked to the front door.

"You know most people don't wake other people up at 7am on a weekend," Holly tried to act exasperated with Gail until she saw what Gail was holding, "but you brought me coffee so I'm going to be okay with this."

"My mother has a way of making me freak out over everything." Gail revealed as she brushed past Holly and took of her shoes and coat.

"She's an intimidating woman." Holly placed her hand on Gail's shoulder and Gail turned to face her.

Holly wanted to break the silence but she knew that Gail would have to tell her what was on her mind and communicate if this was going to be a relationship. And if the previous day's meeting with Elaine had been any indication, Gail shut down completely if she didn't want to do something. Finally Gail spoke,

"I don't know how to come out to people Holly."

Holly sleepily shuffled over to the couch and took a seat. She could already tell that this would be a long conversation. Gail followed her lead and all but flung herself into the armchair next to Holly's couch.

"How did you come out to people Holly? I mean, who was the first person you came out to when you were coming out? What did you say?"

"I came out to my physics teacher first. She was this super cool chick who had a ton of piercings and tattoos and she always wore these gaudy Hawaiian shirts. Anyway, it was the end of year 11 and she was talking to me about how I should try to make more friends instead of being the usual anti-social geeky nerd. I kind of just blurted it out because I had just figured it all out and I needed someone to know and I didn't really have that many close friends."

"What did she say?"

"She told me that it was fine. That I was fine. That I hadn't changed in her eyes. But another student had overheard my confession and by the end of the day I went from being an anonymous girl to being the gay girl."

Gail moved over to the couch and tentatively rested her hand on Holly's knee. Holly took Gail's hands and held it between her own two hands.

Holly took a deep breath before continuing, "School became unbearable. There wasn't any overt bullying or explicit examples of ostracizing but I felt even more alone than I had at the beginning of the year. People stared and pointed and whispered. And it was a long time before I felt comfortable in my skin enough to come out to anyone else."

"People are dicks." Holly wasn't sure what she expected Gail to say but even those three words were kind of comforting in a weird way. It was Gail's way of being supportive and it meant more to her than some empty words of sympathy.

"Yeah. People are dicks."

Gail went contemplative and silent again before she found the words she was looking for, "It's weird Holly. I've never had a problem with people being gay but-"

"But when it's you it's different." Holly nodded because she had gone through a similar train of thought through her coming out process.

"Yeah."

For a while the only sounds that could be heard were the buzzing of the refrigerator and the ticking of the clock. Holly wasn't sure where Gail wanted to go from here. Did she want to stay in the closet? Could Holly stand being back in the closet and lying to everyone again? Holly decided that making Gail feel comfortable was probably the best course of action.

"I get it if you don't want to come out. I was there once. But it's hard dating someone who is in the closet."

Both Gail and Holly sunk deeper into the couch and Holly looked over at Gail to try and gauge what she was thinking. Finally Gail spoke,

"I don't want other people's judgement to be a part of our relationship."

Holly shifted so that she could properly face Gail and straightened her glasses, "What're you saying Gail?"

"What if we dated, on the down low. Just for a couple of weeks while we get to know each other and see where this is going."

Holly tried not to think about how dangerously close 'dating on the down low' sounded to 'dating in the closet', "Dating on the down low?"

"Yeah. No meeting friends or family yet. Just us." Gail nodded.

"Just us getting to know each other and only for a couple of weeks," Holly reiterated firmly.

"Only for a couple of weeks," Gail confirmed as she shifted so that she was completely facing Holly.

Gail reached over and tentatively touched Holly's jaw with one hand. With a small tug she brought Holly's forehead to hers and then just stared into Holly's eyes. Holly stared back, waiting for Gail to make her move. Finally, Gail leaned in and brushed her lips against Holly's before pulling back quickly. Then suddenly Gail's lips were on Holly's and then her tongues were meeting.

Gail's other hand snaked it's way up Holly's body before stopping right at the bra line. Holly could feel her heart beat with anticipation and finally when the anticipation became too much, Holly just grabbed Gail's hand and put it on her left boob. It seemed to be all the encouragement that Gail needed as she dropped her other hand to Holly's other breast.

Soon they were shirtless (though their bras were still on) and breathless on the couch. Holly pulled away first when she felt Gail's hand begin to venture under her bra.

Holly looped her hands around Gail's neck to keep her from moving too far away, "We should probably stop."

"Yeah. Probably." Gail tried to catch her breath as she located her shirt.

There was a long stretch of silence as both Gail and Holly returned to upright positions on the couch. Holly looked over at Gail who seemed to be masterfully ignoring Holly's gaze. Finally, Gail broke the silence,

"I should go and leave you to get some beauty sleep. I'll call you later?"

Gail stood up and Holly realized that even though she had lost a good four extra hours of sleep because of her, what Holly wanted more than anything was for Gail to stay. As Gail tried to move away from the couch, Holly grabbed her hand.

"You can stay. I was just going to go for a run and watch some crappy TV while I worked. But we can just watch crappy TV."

Gail dropped back onto the couch with feigned annoyance, "Okay. I'll stay."

"Well don't act like it's a huge sacrifice or anything."

Gail dramatically placed her right hand over her heart, "Watching T.V. with a hot girl, how ever will I survive today."

Holly grinned as she pulled her shirt back on and settled into the couch with Gail for a lazy Saturday.

* * *

><p>AN: Thanks for your patience guys! And thanks for reading! (Also I haven't had time to read through it yet so if there are any typos let me know and I'll get on editing them!)


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